Why I'm Done Apologizing: Speaking My Truth Isn't a Crime: 28-08-2024, August. - Hammad Ausafi

Why I'm Done Apologizing: Speaking My Truth Isn't a Crime: 28-08-2024, August. - Hammad Ausafi:

Today, I received a call from my support worker about an email I sent to my secondary school back in May-July. The email was simply expressing how I felt, and there's nothing wrong with that. I also found out there was a police case regarding a message I sent to my nurse on Facebook. Honestly, promoting my Call of Duty YouTube videos isn't a crime. Being unprofessional and actually breaking the law are two different things.

All I did was send a message to my nurse promoting my work; they didn't respond and blocked me, which is fair enough. I also emailed my former teachers to share how I felt about what happened. There's nothing wrong with that either.

Here's what I'm trying to understand: why report something unprofessional to the police years after I sent a message? I get it if there's a threat, that's fair enough. But speaking facts about how I was treated or promoting my Call of Duty videos to become famous and join FaZe Clan are two different things. I didn't make any direct threats (or maybe I did indirectly), but nothing to an extreme level of concern.

It's like someone on Twitter calling me a loser or saying I'm a pencil sharpener and should die because my content is trash. P.S. I'm done apologizing to people, especially when I didn't do anything wrong in the first place.

Update [03-09-2024, September]:
Regardless of what I’ve done, I realize now that my actions could have been taken the wrong way. I should have found a better way to express myself, rather than coming across as weird or creepy, or by sending messages to professionals on social media or emails that aren't appropriate or properly thought out. I understand how these actions can be misinterpreted.

Sometimes, because of my autism, I do things impulsively without fully understanding the consequences they might have. I'm learning to be more mindful and careful in how I communicate, especially with people in professional settings.

P.S. I’ve been working on reflecting on these experiences. Check out my college blog I created this year and the 'About Me' section; I had a lot to say: https://heyhammadausafi.wixsite.com/ha365610photography/unit1-professionaldevelopment

Important Update on ONLY TEARS FALL, Part I: The Record: 17-08-2024, August - Hammad Ausafi

Important Update on ONLY TEARS FALL, Part I: The Record: 17-08-2024, August - Hammad Ausafi:

Hey everyone, I wanted to give you all an important update. ONLY TEARS FALL, Part I: The Record will NOT be released this year and won’t be out for some time. While the record itself is pretty much finished, I’m currently working on re-writing and producing 80% of it. Along with this, I’m also working on a Call of Duty montage that I aim to make one of my best ever. This will involve some intensive editing, including clips I hit on CoD4 recorded via my Dazzle capture card, going all the way back to 2007-2008.

I’m excited to share that the Call of Duty montage will feature all the music from ONLY TEARS FALL, Part I: The Record. The call of duty montage will be titled ONLY TEARS FALL, Part I: Call of Duty TAGE. However, due to personal issues, both 'TAGE' and 'The Record' have to be placed on hold for now. The record itself is just too SAD & HEAVY. As someone who struggles with ongoing suicidal thoughts and intents, I feel like releasing this record could potentially draw me deeper into that dark place. I still want to write and produce some heavy soundtracks with friends, but right now, getting both 'The Record' and the 'TAGE' finished is almost impossible. It’s not because I can’t do it, but because I don’t have the motivation due to personal issues that I can’t speak about.

I promise you all that when the time is right, you’ll see the light of day, and this entire project will come to reality—stronger, more powerful, and more meaningful than ever before. The extra time and effort will make it something truly special, far beyond what it could have been if rushed. Thank you for your understanding and support during this time.

Profit Over Safety: Activision's Decision to Shut Down H2Mod: 16-08-2024, August. - Hammad Ausafi

Profit Over Safety: Activision's Decision to Shut Down H2Mod: 16-08-2024, August. - Hammad Ausafi:

I’m not sure where to start, but I want to talk about how PC gaming has never been entirely safe—this includes consoles, too, but I’m focusing specifically on H2M (H2Mod) and Activision. While I don’t agree with Activision’s decision to shut down H2M, as an IT professional, I understand some of the concerns. The Steam versions of Call of Duty games have been compromised, but I believe H2M could have potentially fixed these issues.

Companies and organizations that develop multiplayer games are often aligned with governments, local councils, and police in the gamer’s country when it comes to protecting and safeguarding players. Because of this, playing on the official Steam version will generally be safer compared to any modified clients running on third-party or dedicated servers not owned by Activision or other gaming companies.

That said, there are dedicated people who genuinely care about the online gaming community. They create their own servers to make games more enjoyable and secure for players, which I truly appreciate. However, the bottom line is that online PC gaming has never been, and probably never will be, completely safe. In that sense, I understand why Activision shut down H2M. But if they had the time and energy to shut down something with so much community support, why not address Plutonium?

Activision’s actions are questionable. They didn’t shut H2M down out of concern for GDPR compliance or player safety; they just didn’t want to divert players away from one of the most hyped games of all time compared to the upcoming BO6. If Microsoft (which now owns Activision) genuinely cared about giving users a safer gaming experience, they would remaster older games for newer consoles, fix the issues on old hardware—especially the PS3, which has been severely compromised—and secure their servers. Microsoft, Sony, and Activision have the power to protect us from these vulnerabilities, but their focus on profit is preventing them from doing so, which is arguably unethical and potentially illegal.